Fog Lifted!

It you happen to follow me on Twitter, you know I was really sick this past week.  Now for me to admit that I was sick is a big thing.  Usually no matter what is wrong I blame sinus drainage.

My philosophy regarding/about going to the doctor  makes sense to me, my family does not share my view.   Fact: as I understand it, the common cold cannot be cured. But, you can be cured of bronchitis and pneumonia.  As inferred, when the doctor sees me coming, she knows I am beyond just not feeling well.  So after receiving two shots and taking three prescriptions this week I feel I can declare, I am well!

You are probably wondering how does the "Fog Lifted" title fit.  Well , it is share time.  I am greatly uncomfortable with the word "depression". I guess back in the day, depression equaled crazy. I know that is not the case, but I did not want to be judged.  So I keep my sadness locked away.  My daughter has helped so much by being a confident and encourager.  Prayer made me feel like "I" was doing something, but really did not help.  I know the reason for this, "I" can't but "HE" can.  But even knowing this, I have been lapsing for years.  There are very few days when I have not had some time of sadness. I have been on an anti-depressant, but they were  prescribed for hot flashes. (worked by the way) My doctor still is unaware of "poor me" state.

Okay, be patient I am getting to the Fog Lifted title. While home for three days this week, a gentlemen I follow on twitter posted a link to an article. http://www.independent.ie/blog/conor-cusack-depression-is-a-friend-not-my-enemy-29707558.html For some reason this article really reached me.  I truly believe that I have been trying to fit into molds fashioned by others and not focusing on my own mold, the mold God wants me to fit in. 

If you were to spend time with me, I don't think my state of mind is too apparent. My ears are double pierced, I have a tattoo, I wear a lot of bracelets and rings, I love bizarre nail art and I drive a 70's VW Bug. At work we keep the radio on a Classic Rock station, so I am usually singing along and doing little dances.  I am sure my state of mind is apparent sometimes, because sometimes I am just overwhelmed. As I am driving to work or to other out in the world places, I am constantly reviewing my mantra, "put on a happy face, be happy, no one wants to be around a dark cloud". I enjoy being along, cause smiles are not required.

The last two days have been truly awesome!  The only differences I am aware of have been the major meds, the article, prayer, and I have also quit taking the anti-depress meds.  Maybe they were amplifying, don't know.  I am aware that this state may not last, but I don't think the clouds will be as dark as they have been for the past years. For last few days, I feel the sun is shining (even when I am alone I am smiling)

Thank you for listening (well you are reading) and not judging!

Even when it is raining, let's shine! (have I just found my sign off?)